This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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