I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
she pinky promised me she was 18
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Randomize