This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Randomize
