You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
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