Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
