walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Your cock deserves a montage
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
