he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
