You're so nebulous sometimes
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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