Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
