I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
