Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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