windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
