Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I don't think brook has ever known best
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I love you. Go after that dick
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
