I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
