I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Randomize
