Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Randomize
