Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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