i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize