Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
