he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
