i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
