after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
i dont even know how to be here
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
