I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
