feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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