ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Randomize
