is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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