Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
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