I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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