He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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