All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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