Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
