I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
