I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
