so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
