Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I love you. Go after that dick
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize