I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
