let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
You dont lie about slip and slides
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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