Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
