Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
sarcasm needs its own font
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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