the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
