How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
My vagina is very pro this idea
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
