I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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