just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
