Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(609): View more from New Jersey

Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.

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(303): View more from Colorado

he thought i was a dude.

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(905): View more from Toronto

No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags

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(817): View more from Texas

So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life

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(419): View more from Ohio

Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.

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(360): View more from Washington

Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.

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(415): View more from California

Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.

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(562): View more from California

I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.

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