shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
