do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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