you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
