Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
