YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
