No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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