I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
well most of my day revolves around power hour
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
And my parents said I crawled through the house
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
