i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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