She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
