So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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