so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
