Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
do herpes really smell.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
