It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
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