HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
