You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
