She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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