Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
