life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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