This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
