After last night, I could never be a politician.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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