A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
My legs feel like baby dolphins
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize