I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
